One special thing that has come in the wake of my own personal tragedy is being able to connect with so many other beautiful souls who have also suffered the loss of a loved one. This writing is dedicated to anyone out there who may need support or simply to hear a kind word or two.
Never give up hoping that beauty can come from ashes.
I highly recommend playing this song while reading yhis blog. The song is called “Ashes” by Celine Dion, and the words are magical:
Brokenness can be such a sad and lonely place. Sadness is a silent assassin to recovery. As time passes and we continually walk over the broken pieces of our soul and begin watching the blood run from our broken heart, we also begin to wonder if there will ever be a way to save ourselves, a way out of the pain, calling out and asking: “can any real beauty come out of ashes?"
I know the constant feeling of never being able to outrun the pain of truth. However, as my own soul burned for what seemed like an eternity, I did come up with a novel thought throigh my own grief. I looked out at the world I was living in, seen that I had disconnected while hiding in a self-made palace of marter-ism and I began suddenly to see something diffrent about humanity.
I began to see that everyone is broken in some way or another. I realized that although the idea of being broken is supposed to make us feel like something is wrong with us or that no one could ever love the jagged edges of our ugly and cracked portrait ever again, in fact, as Nikki Sixx has so eloquently stated time and again over the years, it is our scars that in fact, make us not only unique but beautiful.
The most important thing we can do is remember that brokenness doesn’t define us.
You are a survivor. A warrior. A wandering soul looking for a safe place to land. You are every beat your heart makes and every wonderful idea your mind creates. You are strong and resilient and most of all, you are not responsible for the fates that be, however, what you do in the wake of tragedy shows the love you have for the people involved and yourself, more importantly.
Although it is easy to cry, we must realize that protecting our heart and waking up to living a full life IS the only way to move forward.
It’s beautiful to be self-resilient and sustaining. Don’t underestimate your power of self healing. It is a wonderful thing.
With all of that said, we must remember one simple fact: someone is going to love you eventually, I do promise you that. It may not be today or next week but I guarantee that you will be loved in this lifetime.
Not because you are broken but because you don’t let it consume you. Someone is going to love every scar on your battered and broken soul and every tear that has stained your face. Someone is going to be what you need to fully heal. They will be your saving grace and a safe place to land.
Because you are beautiful.
Because you are a survivor.
Because you have seen the worst and choose to smile.
Through the tears,
Through the sadness,
But also through recovery
They will love you because you are incredibly made.
When the times seem long and lonely, and society is made up of every one BUT someone who could show us love again,
We must keep faith of one simple fact:
You are going to find this person.
Because they are out there doing the same.
They could be miles away or closer to you than you think but just know that they are out there.
There is something so intimate about sharing your past heartbreaks with someone. Because it takes more than casual conversation for you to feel okay with sharing such personal information. Information that maybe only your close friends and family may know about. It is a bonding experience like no other.
Intimacy is made of this.
Sex is made of this.
Real, true and sustaining love is made of this simplicity.
When you find the right person, they are going to love you even more for the scars you bare and experiences you have endured. They are going to hold you close and make it feel just a little less painful. They are going to understand when you’ve said enough and won’t pry and they are going to show you their scars too.
So, with the question posed: “Can beauty come out of ashes?”
After all I have been through, I answer this very simply with yes BUT it can only be answered if and when your heart is ready to understand those scars, understand that your brokenness is what makes you so beautiful and there are others in this universe who are worthy of sharing who you are, broken pieces and all. Until then, just know, I love you for the survivors you are.
Be proud of you. I am...