What a Real Man is Looking for in a Lover.

This Song is my Current #FAV. I love the Fire In the Love in this #MUSICVIDEO It goes great with the #blog topic today. Any Man Who Would Take advantage of a #WomansHeart In this Manner is Not a Man...He is A boy. Ladies, sometimes #Love is Not Standing Directly in Front of You, you may have to travel off the Beaten Path to find a real #passionate True heart...


They do EXIST...

Long time, no substantial blog. I apologize for that, I am trying to prepare for the beginnings of my comeback (or in the immortal words of LL Cool J, "don't call it comeback"). :)

So, in this blog, I am going to take on a tough reader question. Our friend Rachel Lee recently asked for some thoughts on the question: "From a man's perspective, what do men really want?”

Great question Rachel, let me talk on it for moment if I may and again, I am no professional or brilliant psychologist here, I am merely lending some opions on the issue.

Reading Rachel‘s question, I could tell she seemed frustrated with the current standing of dating in the new millenium. She spoke of game playing, phone conversations with no depth or end and the need to bond with a mate emtionally but finding only shallow partners with nothing to invest.

Rachel, again, thank you for the question and here are a few thoughts for the road:

In my opinon, men can be shallow creatures at times due to their rearing and peer pressure. Yes, some males seem to be driven by the superficial, this is true but in my opinion Rachel, this seems to have more to do with the pool of men you are dealing (which sound like boys, rather than men) and possibly/unfortunately you may have to change standards or look in unconventional places to find the correct type of valuable relationship you are looking for. Sometimes this can be a different look, attitude or even area but it does sound like a change for you is definitely in order. Just remember, if you always invest in what looks shallow don't be surprised if the end result may end up being as deep as a puddle...

A real man who has worked through his bullshit, and is not worried about impressing his buddies or cruising ass 24/7 with volume conquered as the goal instead of quality in relationship will want what you are looking for, a true friend, a mate, a ride or die type of bitch who is down for him both physically and mentally. He wants someone who wants a better life and wants to build that life with someone who can only see doing that with him.

Men may act tough on the outside but inside, they just want to be loved. Do not let them fool you with their fake act or crazy talk. Men want a woman who will adore them just as they would adore their mate. In my opinion, if they do not, don't bother, they are not into you.

I did find some cool bullet points that I worked over which really do extend out my thoughts in a more proper manner:

My List of What a Real Man is Looking for in a Mate:

1. He Wants To Be Deeply Attracted To You

This planet is filled with different kinds of men who all have different kinds of tastes and preferences for what they find attractive. A big mistake that women make is that they try to become a certain image of attractiveness that may or may not be them, instead of the most attractive version of themselves. When it comes to attraction, you don’t have to worry about people who aren’t attracted to you. Those people can be effectively invisible to you.

For the people who will be attracted to you, be the best and most attractive version of yourself that you can be. Doing what you can to be the most attractive version of you possible is only going to increase your options, increase your power, and increase your effectiveness with attracting the person you ultimately want to attract. So forget about the virtually unattainable standard that magazines and TV try to get you to hold yourself to. They’re only pushing that on you to get you to buy what they’re advertising. Instead, focus on becoming the most attractive version of yourself possible.

1. Put effort into your wardrobe and wear flattering clothing – clothing that makes you feel good and that you feel sexy in.

2. Focus on feeling good about yourself – a positive attitude is more important to overall attractiveness than a dress size or two.

3. Put effort towards being in shape and looking a way that makes YOU feel happy (not a way that some scummy magazine is telling you to look). This helps you feel great about yourself as well. If you put effort towards those areas of your life, you will become the best and most attractive version of yourself that you can be – and that’s what the men who will be attracted to you really care about the most.

2. He Wants To Be Able To Share His Passion With You

Men are desperately searching for someone in the world to share their passion with.

Every guy is deeply interested in some subject – the thing that he “nerds out” about more than any other. It’s the thing that he talks about that seems like it changes his whole demeanor. Even shy guys have no problem talking about their passion, once you get them going. Find out what he’s passionate about and ask him about it. You’ll discover that guys who are normally shy, closed off, or withdrawn will gush about the subject they care the most about.

3. He Wants A Good Listener

Obviously, I’m not saying that you should just listen to him and whatever he says at the expense of expressing yourself – that’s ridiculous. What I’m sharing are the things that you can do with a guy to make him feel a deep personal connection to you – that will make him want to bring your lives closer together. Guys will bond with people who they feel that they can share anything with. They don’t bond with someone and THEN open up to them, opening up to you is how a guy bonds.

4. He Wants Someone Who Shares His Goals And Dreams

The best, longest lasting, most passionate connections are between people who are moving in the same direction in life. Who hold the same values. Who want the same things out of life.

Guys are looking for someone who they can count on to back them up (RIDE of DIE reference) – who they know supports them and their direction in life. That doesn’t mean you don’t have goals – it means your goals align with his and you’re moving towards them together, supporting each other all the way. If your goal is life partnership and deep love that lasts a lifetime, then this is extremely important.

5. He Wants A Woman Who Has Dreams And Goals For Herself

I wasn’t kidding when I said #4 isn’t about you putting your goals behind his.

The key part of #4 is that you SHARE his goals and dreams, that means you have goals and dreams for yourself and they align with his as well. I’m not telling you to drop everything in your life and follow him completely – that’s totally off base. (Plus, it will probably push any guy away). What I’m saying is that in any relationship you want to last, you have to take some time and find out whether your goals and ambitions in life match.

If they do, great. If they don’t, it’s going to cause a lot more conflict in your relationship. Everything you do in life is subconsciously about moving closer to your goals – and he’s the same way. So if you have different and conflicting goals for what you want out of life, you’ll be subconsciously working against each other all the time… which results in resentment, frustration, and fights that neither of you understand why they’re happening.

6. He Wants A Woman He’s Compatible With

And vice versa.

A lot of people talk about compatibility but no one really stops to define it. So here it is: compatibility means being in a relationship with each other feels easy. Effortless. There’s no day to day strain. Compatibility means that it’s easy to be around each other, and that it feels good to be around each other. Here’s a simple foolproof test: if it feels like you have to “fight” for your relationship, or it feels like you’re constantly battling to keep your relationship on track – that’s a strong sing you’re not compatible with each other. To me, this simply wants a woman who he feels down with. Very sexy and filled with truth.

7. He Wants A Woman He Can Have Great Sex With

I’m going to give you the honest truth about men – and it’s blunt sometimes, but the #1 thing that I want for you is for you to be effective in getting what you want. So when I say that guys want a woman they can have great sex with, I’m being blunt, but I’m also telling you the truth about what guys really need. If you can't f#ck right, he won't love you right. It sounds very selfish and shallow but unfortunately men follow this trait. Great Sex will really help a bond immensely.

8. He Wants A Woman With A Great Vibe


Your vibe is the foundation of your attractiveness and everything relating to your relationships with other people. I’m not exaggerating when I say that your vibe is the single most important aspect of how a man (or anyone else) responds to you.

Your vibe grows from your mood – it’s an extension of how you’re truly, honestly feeling at any given moment. That’s the power of vibe. Because that person is always complaining, voicing negativity, and feeling bad for themselves, it feels bad to interact with them.

A great test to find out what kind of vibe a friend has is to measure how you feel after hanging out with them. If you feel excited, energetic, and more charged up than before – that means your friend’s vibe is good. If you feel drained, negative, and down, that means your friend’s vibe was bad.

For guys, your vibe is more important than almost anything else about you. Your vibe determines whether it feels good to be around you or not and nd when it comes to men, their feelings about you are controlled almost 100% by how they’re feeling when they’re around you.

Guys very rarely evaluate a woman by thinking about the future with them. In reality, guys determine how they feel about a woman based almost entirely on how they feel while she’s around.

If a guy feels good while he’s around you, he’s going to be interested in you! He’s going to want to spend more time with you, and he’s going to show more enthusiasm for hanging out, getting closer and getting to know you better.

My dear friend Rachel, if you are finding game playing bad boys with internal issue that do not align with this list, you will never find love. A real man, true man with a true heart wants the above list of ideal traits. Wants a woman who is down with him, his goals, his sex and attention and a queen of his dreams should want the same.

Love is such a complicated matter but at the same time, it is not. If something seems wrong, walk on girl. F*ck em! No one is worth the tears or trials.

True Love is out there, I believe this with all my heart but unfortunately, like anything great, it may not be standing directly in front of you, you may have to step off the common path to find #perfection

Mostly, men want a woman who will leave him things like this:

Thank you Rachel for the question, I don't know if this helps but I do hope at the very least, it made you smile.

If anyone has any questions or comments please post them below and we can have a productive, intelligent discussion on the matter.

Also, any topic request for future blogs, just IM me and put in the subject BLOG REQUEST and i will scan them over and respond.

Love & Spanks,



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